I've mentioned in previous posts how people tend to express the anger and frustration they feel with THEMSELVES toward those closest to them. It was pointed out to me by someone I greatly respect that many people just don't express their anger. Period. It's all turned inward. That was something I hadn't give a lot of thought to, but obviously, she's right.
I'm not going to lie and say I understand this personality trait. I know it can run the spectrum from just keeping some feelings hidden to keeping practically everything hidden. It can be just anger issues but I suspect it's primarily any feeling that would leave the person feeling open and vulnerable. The first thing that comes to mind is "fear of rejection." In that sense I don't believe the two personality types are very different. In the folks who direct their feelings to those closest to them they know these people are "safe." These people are chosen because they won't reject the individual. So both types fear rejection. One just has a circle of trust built and established that the other either doesn't have or, most likely, won't have.
In order to have close relationships in this life we have to trust. We have to be able to open up to another. We also need to safely allow others to open up to us; provide their safe haven. Alone and lonely - that's not living. I firmly believe the saying that "Nothing worth having comes easy."
Love. Live.
The weekend's in sight! Enjoy!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Mike Huckabee for President - Political Endorsement
Dear Friends,
You may already know that I support Mike Huckabee for President of the United States. Mike has my vote and I signed up at the new HucksArmy.com.
Signing up takes only a minute, but it makes a big statement. Please join me in supporting Mike Huckabee. He is the only candidate who will take this country up, not down; the only one with a proven track record as an innovative, optimistic, and authentic conservative.
I also participate in meetup.com on a local level (meetup.com, search for "Huckabee" and enter your zip code for your local info)
Declare Your Support for Mike Huckabee:
http://www.hucksarmy.com/enlist_today.php
http://www.meetup.com
We can make a difference!
You may already know that I support Mike Huckabee for President of the United States. Mike has my vote and I signed up at the new HucksArmy.com.
Signing up takes only a minute, but it makes a big statement. Please join me in supporting Mike Huckabee. He is the only candidate who will take this country up, not down; the only one with a proven track record as an innovative, optimistic, and authentic conservative.
I also participate in meetup.com on a local level (meetup.com, search for "Huckabee" and enter your zip code for your local info)
Declare Your Support for Mike Huckabee:
http://www.hucksarmy.com/enlist_today.php
http://www.meetup.com
We can make a difference!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Derby Update
Ok, we can all relax now. Team Wiren had a very respectable run with both Christopher and Abbey placing 2nd in their respective divisions. This derby is an intro for what they consider the "big" derby in May. Believe me, Ken learns more with each race and I think he and the kids are planning on big wins in the spring!
Congratulations Christopher and Abbey!
Off-the-record...when we unofficially ran the cars against each other it was a surprise to all when Christopher's dragster beat Abbey's truck! Just goes to show you never can tell...
Congratulations Christopher and Abbey!
Off-the-record...when we unofficially ran the cars against each other it was a surprise to all when Christopher's dragster beat Abbey's truck! Just goes to show you never can tell...
It Was Supposed To Be Forever...
It was supposed to be forever.
The words were said
The rings exchanged
The license signed and mailed
For better
For worse
“I do”
“I do”
In front of God and man
He did this
She did that
It seems their “forever,”
Just came too fast
A bag is packed
A door is closed
A back is turned
Two hearts exposed
It was supposed to be forever
He takes this
She’ll keep that
Things once meant for two
Now split in half
The words were said
The rings exchanged
The license signed and mailed
For better
For worse
“I do”
“I do”
In front of God and man
It seems their forever,
just came too fast
Sonya Wiren 2007
The words were said
The rings exchanged
The license signed and mailed
For better
For worse
“I do”
“I do”
In front of God and man
He did this
She did that
It seems their “forever,”
Just came too fast
A bag is packed
A door is closed
A back is turned
Two hearts exposed
It was supposed to be forever
He takes this
She’ll keep that
Things once meant for two
Now split in half
The words were said
The rings exchanged
The license signed and mailed
For better
For worse
“I do”
“I do”
In front of God and man
It seems their forever,
just came too fast
Sonya Wiren 2007
Anticipation...
DERBY RACES - Well, we've begun the countdown. In a matter of hours we'll know if Team Wiren produces another winning derby car! Our two youngest are involved in AWANA at a local church. They have two derby races each year and this will be our 3rd. The first time Christopher had the winner with his "Spidey" car, based on Spider Man. Abbey had the misfortune of dropping hers a few times and knocking her wheels out of alignment and, thus, out of competition. Our next race had Abbey's car burning up the track and bringing home the trophy from her "Sparks" division. Christopher's car was the one with wheel trouble this time. So...the pressure is on for this 3rd race.
It all begins when the little plastic bags come home. Inside is a block of wood, some stickers, and the wheels. Next comes lots of discussion over the type of car each child wants (this year Abbey has a pick-up-truck and Christopher has a dragster). Dad prints out grid paper and they draw out the ideas, change, tweak and adjust until the designs are deemed "just right!" Now the work moves out to the garage and the scrollsaw. That part is still done by Dad. After the shape is cut the sanding begins. Sanding, painting, drying, weighting, painting, sanding, detailing, etc. And then...
THE WHEELS - It is my understanding that the wheels are the key to a winning racer. Frankly this is not my area of expertise - and the process is handled chiefly by Kenneth and the kids. He cuts the wood, works with the weights, attaches the wheels, and sweats. The kids design, sand, paint, detail, and worry. And that's where we are now. When Ken gets home he'll double, triple check the weights and check the wheels - again. The kids are putting on the finishing touches with markers, stickers, and numbers (21 and 25 respectively).
Eight hours...
It all begins when the little plastic bags come home. Inside is a block of wood, some stickers, and the wheels. Next comes lots of discussion over the type of car each child wants (this year Abbey has a pick-up-truck and Christopher has a dragster). Dad prints out grid paper and they draw out the ideas, change, tweak and adjust until the designs are deemed "just right!" Now the work moves out to the garage and the scrollsaw. That part is still done by Dad. After the shape is cut the sanding begins. Sanding, painting, drying, weighting, painting, sanding, detailing, etc. And then...
THE WHEELS - It is my understanding that the wheels are the key to a winning racer. Frankly this is not my area of expertise - and the process is handled chiefly by Kenneth and the kids. He cuts the wood, works with the weights, attaches the wheels, and sweats. The kids design, sand, paint, detail, and worry. And that's where we are now. When Ken gets home he'll double, triple check the weights and check the wheels - again. The kids are putting on the finishing touches with markers, stickers, and numbers (21 and 25 respectively).
Eight hours...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I Miss My Friend... (A little more self-reflection)
I have a really odd relationship with my "best" girl friend. We speak once or twice a year. Almost never email, never see each other (3 or 4 times in the last 24 years or so). I really miss her.
Living in different states made shopping and lunch dates out of the question. We used to talk a lot more - back in the days when life was uncomplicated. Okay - less complicated. I was in my 20's - not only did life seem complicated but it was agonizingly dramatic as well.
We met when I was 16 and she was 12. Hard to imagine now as we get close to the 30 year mark! I knew her brother first and then got to know her. She was the keeper!
I can't speak for her, but, as for me - the more I have to deal with the less I share with others. Now, with my mom deceased and me being out of the work force and away from people day-in-and-day-out for the last 6 years I've pretty much turned in to a loner. My confidence level has lagged and I'm not even comfortable in most face-to-face conversations with others any more.
In her later years, my mother's social circle consisted mostly of her adult children; she was happy as a homebody and a rather private person. I see the same thing in her offspring. Some situations I do very well socially. Other times I'm just shy and uncomfortable. I'm most comfortable with my husband and kids. My husband is the same. He's never really been comfortable in social situations. These days I meet a lot of homeschool moms but I'm usually a good bit older than they are. They're tackling elementary school for the first time and I'm sending mine off to college, becoming a grandma and now homeschooling my youngest two kids.
We've changed church homes a few times and while there are a lot of great women where we go now - I don't know any of them very well.
So, through the years, marriages, kids, adult kids, grandchildren, stress, depression, etc. I've become almost reclusive. I often want to pick up the phone and talk with my friend, Dawn, but really don't know where to start. I know that's a ridiculous worry, though. We always manage to start about where we left off. It just seems there's so much to relay. I believe she probably feels the same way. It's true, too, that our lives have gone in vastly different directions. While in the work force I held my own and was regarded as a valued employee. Administration was my field. Well, now I'm home (and I don't excel at being a housewife) and she's stayed on the career-track and is doing well. I focused more on the mommy track with 5 kids. She now has a teenage daughter and stepson. So, maybe I'm afraid to discover that what we've had as friends might be different today. I guess to summarize I'd have to say my friendship with her is a priceless treasure I keep tucked away. I always know it's there. I don't want to find it's become outdated over the years.
Most of the time I'm happy with the (social) life we have. It does nag at me from time-to-time that one of these days my husband may be gone and I'll be alone. Or, I may be gone and he'd be alone. I don't really want that for either of us. Occasionally I'll find myself at home while Kenneth is on the road. I get the urge to meet a friend for dinner or coffee - then I realize I really have no one to call.
My last post mentioned I have a lot of things in my life to address or change. This is one of those areas. Friends truly are treasures! For me, between failed relationships, moving to a new state, moving churches, and being involved with our large family - those opportunities didn't come up often. Conversely, we haven't really pursued anything at our end. Our kids are great but they have their own lives now.
So...if you find you need a friend...
I sure hope Christmas is making all things shiny and bright for you and yours!
Living in different states made shopping and lunch dates out of the question. We used to talk a lot more - back in the days when life was uncomplicated. Okay - less complicated. I was in my 20's - not only did life seem complicated but it was agonizingly dramatic as well.
We met when I was 16 and she was 12. Hard to imagine now as we get close to the 30 year mark! I knew her brother first and then got to know her. She was the keeper!
I can't speak for her, but, as for me - the more I have to deal with the less I share with others. Now, with my mom deceased and me being out of the work force and away from people day-in-and-day-out for the last 6 years I've pretty much turned in to a loner. My confidence level has lagged and I'm not even comfortable in most face-to-face conversations with others any more.
In her later years, my mother's social circle consisted mostly of her adult children; she was happy as a homebody and a rather private person. I see the same thing in her offspring. Some situations I do very well socially. Other times I'm just shy and uncomfortable. I'm most comfortable with my husband and kids. My husband is the same. He's never really been comfortable in social situations. These days I meet a lot of homeschool moms but I'm usually a good bit older than they are. They're tackling elementary school for the first time and I'm sending mine off to college, becoming a grandma and now homeschooling my youngest two kids.
We've changed church homes a few times and while there are a lot of great women where we go now - I don't know any of them very well.
So, through the years, marriages, kids, adult kids, grandchildren, stress, depression, etc. I've become almost reclusive. I often want to pick up the phone and talk with my friend, Dawn, but really don't know where to start. I know that's a ridiculous worry, though. We always manage to start about where we left off. It just seems there's so much to relay. I believe she probably feels the same way. It's true, too, that our lives have gone in vastly different directions. While in the work force I held my own and was regarded as a valued employee. Administration was my field. Well, now I'm home (and I don't excel at being a housewife) and she's stayed on the career-track and is doing well. I focused more on the mommy track with 5 kids. She now has a teenage daughter and stepson. So, maybe I'm afraid to discover that what we've had as friends might be different today. I guess to summarize I'd have to say my friendship with her is a priceless treasure I keep tucked away. I always know it's there. I don't want to find it's become outdated over the years.
Most of the time I'm happy with the (social) life we have. It does nag at me from time-to-time that one of these days my husband may be gone and I'll be alone. Or, I may be gone and he'd be alone. I don't really want that for either of us. Occasionally I'll find myself at home while Kenneth is on the road. I get the urge to meet a friend for dinner or coffee - then I realize I really have no one to call.
My last post mentioned I have a lot of things in my life to address or change. This is one of those areas. Friends truly are treasures! For me, between failed relationships, moving to a new state, moving churches, and being involved with our large family - those opportunities didn't come up often. Conversely, we haven't really pursued anything at our end. Our kids are great but they have their own lives now.
So...if you find you need a friend...
I sure hope Christmas is making all things shiny and bright for you and yours!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Sunday Night Thoughts OR On My Soapbox
Well, it's Sunday night and I guess that just means that my thoughts are a bit more scattered today than the other 6 days of the week. Maybe it's a let-down reflex; kind of a mental day-off.
Easy Targets - Why is it that those we love the most end up being the easiest targets for our anger and frustration. Those feelings have to be directed somewhere and I don't think we ever learn how to direct them ONLY at ourselves; at least not without some spillover in the direction of those closest to us. This is a lose/lose situation; it stinks being the one dishing it out and it stinks being on the receiving end.
Salvation Army Bell Ringers - Bless their hearts - they are very nice. They never stare you down or do anything at all to make you feel guilty if you walk right past them without a "ka-ching" in the kettle. Our family makes one cash drop the day after Thanksgiving - and then (I) feel guilty for the remainder of the Christmas season. Maybe we should just give a little at a time for the duration???
Blessing Hearts- Isn't it funny how you can say anything you want to about a person without getting into trouble - as long as you say "Bless His/Her Heart!"
They Say Insanity Is... - According to Benjamin Franklin or Albert Einstein (only a 1-pg Google search - it showed both - too lazy to research further - maybe tomorrow)“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Well, that makes sense to me. One of these days I'll have to introduce my logical self to my normal self. I hesitate because I think it would be like mixing oil and water. Anyway, back to insanity and repetition. I hate repetition - if you've been a reader for a while you'll know I wrote about that once. So...if that's the case - why do I keep doing BAD/STUPID/DETRIMENTAL things over and over again AND expect the results to be different? One of my resolutions is to consciously change those actions and attempt to get the different results. Is this making sense? If not, just smile and nod - we'll get out of the fog before long.
Seriously...yes, SERIOUSLY (Wake up G A fans)... From quotes to cliché’s -
You can't teach an old dog new tricks - I can't afford to believe this. I will submit that it may be difficult - but I can't believe it's impossible. Too many things I need to change and I'm certainly not getting any younger. Ooh...speaking of which - I just found out a few days ago that my oldest daughter is expecting her 2nd child and I should be grandmax2 by the end of July. My grandson is absolutely wonderful - he needs a little sister to be a good big-brother to. So...think pink!
Ever feel less than wonderful about treatment you've received from someone else? Remember this... Dis me once - shame on you. Dis me again - shame on ME!
It's amazing how many of our "problems" are only problems because we allow them to be. Personally speaking - most of my problems are within my control. How wonderful is that? Now I just need to TAKE CONTROL over them.
And finally - Do you have direction? A plan? A goal? Which way do you go if you have no destination in mind? Think of your garden hose. With guidance and direction the water goes where you want it to. Let go and watch how it spins and turns and dips and rises in all directions. Know where you're going so you'll know how to get there.
OR...
Life is like a GPS - it can't direct you anywhere until you tell it where you're going.
And on that note - I'll hop off my soapbox and listen to my inner GPS telling me it's time for bed.
Have a terrific week! Walk tall, smile, and if it's a really great day...hum, or even Whistle!
Easy Targets - Why is it that those we love the most end up being the easiest targets for our anger and frustration. Those feelings have to be directed somewhere and I don't think we ever learn how to direct them ONLY at ourselves; at least not without some spillover in the direction of those closest to us. This is a lose/lose situation; it stinks being the one dishing it out and it stinks being on the receiving end.
Salvation Army Bell Ringers - Bless their hearts - they are very nice. They never stare you down or do anything at all to make you feel guilty if you walk right past them without a "ka-ching" in the kettle. Our family makes one cash drop the day after Thanksgiving - and then (I) feel guilty for the remainder of the Christmas season. Maybe we should just give a little at a time for the duration???
Blessing Hearts- Isn't it funny how you can say anything you want to about a person without getting into trouble - as long as you say "Bless His/Her Heart!"
They Say Insanity Is... - According to Benjamin Franklin or Albert Einstein (only a 1-pg Google search - it showed both - too lazy to research further - maybe tomorrow)“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Well, that makes sense to me. One of these days I'll have to introduce my logical self to my normal self. I hesitate because I think it would be like mixing oil and water. Anyway, back to insanity and repetition. I hate repetition - if you've been a reader for a while you'll know I wrote about that once. So...if that's the case - why do I keep doing BAD/STUPID/DETRIMENTAL things over and over again AND expect the results to be different? One of my resolutions is to consciously change those actions and attempt to get the different results. Is this making sense? If not, just smile and nod - we'll get out of the fog before long.
Seriously...yes, SERIOUSLY (Wake up G A fans)... From quotes to cliché’s -
You can't teach an old dog new tricks - I can't afford to believe this. I will submit that it may be difficult - but I can't believe it's impossible. Too many things I need to change and I'm certainly not getting any younger. Ooh...speaking of which - I just found out a few days ago that my oldest daughter is expecting her 2nd child and I should be grandmax2 by the end of July. My grandson is absolutely wonderful - he needs a little sister to be a good big-brother to. So...think pink!
Ever feel less than wonderful about treatment you've received from someone else? Remember this... Dis me once - shame on you. Dis me again - shame on ME!
It's amazing how many of our "problems" are only problems because we allow them to be. Personally speaking - most of my problems are within my control. How wonderful is that? Now I just need to TAKE CONTROL over them.
And finally - Do you have direction? A plan? A goal? Which way do you go if you have no destination in mind? Think of your garden hose. With guidance and direction the water goes where you want it to. Let go and watch how it spins and turns and dips and rises in all directions. Know where you're going so you'll know how to get there.
OR...
Life is like a GPS - it can't direct you anywhere until you tell it where you're going.
And on that note - I'll hop off my soapbox and listen to my inner GPS telling me it's time for bed.
Have a terrific week! Walk tall, smile, and if it's a really great day...hum, or even Whistle!
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