A Refresher Course in "Life's Not Fair"

First, the "disclaimer" - The following depiction of events comes from the heart.
I do realize that in the whole scheme of things (re: Life) this is really "no big deal."
Lord knows I don't want to take away from anyone's suffering, losses, etc.
I am, however, a mother, and my children have been hurt. I am guilty of tunnel vision
where my family is concerned and they are MY "Life."

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Life's NOT fair... and yes, I know better than to expect it to be.

Last Sunday evening I sent my 10-yr old son out to feed the cat. Moments later he and my 7-yr old daughter were screaming and crying hysterically.

Our 10-day old kittens had been killed by our neighbor's dog

and were scattered over our driveway in various states of mutilation. The neighbor's two dogs were running loose in our yard.

Where do I begin? My thoughts (in no particular order)

• Our family is devastated over the loss of the kittens. They were just beginning to open their eyes and the kids had already named them.
• There is nothing I can do to erase what my children saw.
• I can't make the hurt go away for them.
• I won't forget holding my sobbing son as he railed over the injustice and how the dog "showed no mercy" to the kittens. Nor will I forget hearing both kids repeatedly ask me "Why?" And of course, I had no answer for them.
• The neighbors know their dog is vicious. They told me in December their dog would kill my cat if the dog were to get out and the cat was around. Their dog got out quite a bit.
• The dog was running wild and charging toward Ken and Christopher. There was no doubt in my husband's mind that if he hadn't been there, Christopher would have run from the dog and the dog would have attacked him. Ken got Christopher behind him and they stopped where they were. I believe Ken's size and his confident manner kept the dog at bay. The dog's behavior was frenzied to say the least.
• It is because of this dog that my daughter doesn't like to play outside. Even in the fenced-yard. Now I'm not comfortable even letting them go out in the front yard, across the street to get the mail, or walk to their friend's homes.
• The neighbor has 2 young sons. I can't understand why they insist on keeping a dog with its nature. The fence doesn't keep it contained so they added an electric fence - apparently that's not working well, either.
• We listened as our cat meowed/cried outside our window that night. She was in the spot where she had the kittens and we set up their secluded home.
• I hurt for my husband who had the task of gathering and burying the kittens. We were trying to act quickly and keep the scent from Mischief who was looking for the kittens. I kept the cat away and Abbey and Christopher took turns holding the flashlight so Kenneth could get the grave ready.
• The neighbor's reaction... "Oh, I guess we forgot to turn on the electric fence."
• Since we didn't see the dog attack our kittens, NOTHING is going to be done by the authorities. Our neighborhood rarely has dogs running loose so this was a no-brainer, all things considered. If we file a report, the neighbor will be fined for their two dogs being loose - about $165 each.
• BUT - since they claim our cat goes on their property (near that dog?), Animal Control will fine us for our cat not being contained or on a leash. It seems our county has a leash-law for dogs AND cats. We would be fined additionally because our cat doesn't wear a collar and rabies vaccination tag. This was intentional as collars aren't safe on outdoor cats and can cause the cat to be hung. So, the bottom line...both families received warnings concerning the pets.
• Our puppy was spooked by the experience, too. Our gate is right next to where the kittens were kept and Izzie was outside at the time. We didn't notice anything with her that evening but the next morning when it was time to go out she didn't want to leave her crate. Normally she makes a mad dash to the door! She also cringes a bit now when she hears the bark of a large dog nearby.
• Nope, Life's NOT fair... I'll bet you already knew that, though.

Catching Up...

Hi there!
Lots to catch up on in this and the next few posts. Travel and illness have kept me away from the computer more than I would have liked. I sure hope you're enjoying beautiful spring weather. I know we are!

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-Long- If you get bored easily just know our cat had kittens. Now you can scroll to the next part...

Excitement Was In the Air!!!
A truly awe-inspiring event for our family. Our cat, Mischief, gave birth to 4 unbelievably tiny, remarkable, kittens just hours before we left for Florida. Our oldest son was home for the weekend to take care of the pets. We teased him that she would have the kittens while we were gone - we never considered she might have them before we left! Since nothing for us is ever "normal," I guess it's no surprise that the cat couldn't just curl up in a nice dark place and quietly have her babies - oh no - not our cat...

Ken noticed something by the cat (he thought she had caught a mouse or something) when we pulled in the driveway from dinner. On closer inspection he realized it was a baby kitten - and - there were two of them! We were so excited!

Our puppy, Izzie, was making a commotion in the side yard and when we turned our attention to her, she was trying to show us a baby kitten on the ground by her (on the other side of the fence). Oh! Ok, there are 3 kittens! We were so proud of Izzie - she saved that kitten's life. Next we had to determine how to get the kitten and its momma together. Ken carefully gathered it up and placed it in the box he quickly got together for mom and babies.

A short while later Mischief left the box and went over to her food. I peeked in on the kittens. When I looked back - there was another one (sack and all) on the ground by where the cat was just eating! Ken's on the phone for work, Christopher is hysterically begging me to do something, Ken's still on the phone. I'm a city girl and only know about birthin' human babies! Afraid to touch the kitten (and, in all honesty, a little grossed out), I did the only other thing I could think of - I walked around to where the cat was with the other babies, picked her up, and took her over to the kitten. It took her a sec but she finally realized she had a baby there. She grabbed up the sack and part of the baby and hopped back in the box - only - the kitten didn't make it all the way - it was stuck clinging to the side (towel). With a gentle nudge from me and some attention from mama cat - it finally made it into the box. I really can't convey the awe and excitement, and yes, stress, our family experienced that evening. None of us really knew what needed to be done and frankly, we probably didn't need to do much. This was a new experience for us and we kept a close eye on the cats the remainder of the evening. We hated to be leaving them in a few hours but knew we'd done all we could to make sure they were comfortable, out of the weather, and in a place acceptable to our cat.

While we were away our son was great at letting us know how they were all doing and checking on them regularly. It's amazing how much those babies grew in the 4 days we were gone!

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Florida Trip...
I can't begin to tell you how wonderful our Florida trip was. To see so many family members gathered together at once was heartwarming, to say the very least. To have the opportunity to share in the celebration of Ken's Aunt & Uncle's 50th Wedding Anniversary was an honor. My only regret was that our 3 oldest children weren't there with us. Ok, maybe two regrets...also that there wasn't more time to spend with individual family members and really catch-up.

Our family of 4, Ken's brother's family of 4 and my mother-in-law pretty much spent the 4 days together. That was different for us but very enjoyable. Some highlights...the Italian restaurant we ate at the first evening. We had a great time! ...our daily "it's too early to be out in public and sociable during breakfast in the hotel" mornings (Abbey never finished anything but was always hungry 10 minutes later)...A small beach outing followed by oceanside lunch eaten outside had us jockeying for position out of the sun...Seafood dinner (again) oceanside on our final evening - complete with key lime pie candies! And, of course, the anniversary party Saturday evening and visiting with relatives (and eating amazing leftovers from the night before) Sunday afternoon. And finally, being the ever-considerate family that we are, we didn't even make enough noise on our departure (at 3:30 am) to wake our fellow travelers who (yawn) didn't hit the road until 5 or 6 hours later! Did I mention how great Cracker Barrel's coffee is???

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The following arrived in my email today. If you are anythink like me, life's various truths are known to our logical minds but these reminders never hurt...



The Bottom Line...
FACE IT... Nobody owes you a living, what you achieve or fail to achieve in your lifetime is directly related to what you do or fail to do.



No one chooses his .parents or childhood but you can choose your own direction.

Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome, but that too is relative to each individual. NOTHING IS CARVED IN STONE...



You can change anything in your life, if you want to badly enough. Excuses are for losers: those who take responsibility for their actions are the real winners in life. Winners meet life challenges head on, knowing there are no guarantees, and give it all they've got. And never think it's too late or too early to begin, time plays no favorites and will pass whether you act or not.



TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE...Dare to dream and take risks...Compete. If you aren't willing to work for your goals don't expect others to.



Unfortunately I don't know who to credit for these wise words. I just hope I (we?) remember them during those times of complacency.


Blessings...

Spring also means...

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday about spring is the return of baseball! Now, living here in SC puts me in Atlanta Braves country. However, one thing from Florida I still proudly claim are my Florida Marlins. The Braves are fine, I guess, but I'll never have the love for them that I do my team. One of my most favorite memories is of being on the field, in the dugout and in the home team locker rooms of (what used to be called) Joe Robbie Stadium. I even have a bottle of dirt from the infield. Of course I could never decide if I preferred to imagine my dirt with or without someone's spit in it. I guess that depends on just how big a fan you liken yourself to be...

Does anyone else remember Monday Night Baseball? That was before ESPN, et al. Yes, that's forever ago and just kind of a random thought that floated near enough to grab.

Well, ahem, back to the Marlins. They're actually leading their division with a 4-3 record. I'm looking forward to our homestand against the Braves beginning the 15th. With the Braves bullpen (or lack thereof) it should make for an interesting series. With the televised Braves games I'll even be able to see it!

PLAY BALL!

P.S. to Dawn in PA...we lost our (minor league) hockey team - Greenville Growl

Such is the life...

of an "Independent Beauty Consultant"

Wow! It's been a long time and trust me, I've missed my blog! I won't bore you with the whole "I've been so busy" routine - we all have one of those. Let's just say that the new business is going pretty well and I'm really enjoying it. The kids are all fine and we'll soon be having a respite from the day-in-day-out routine with a weekend in Florida and a week in Las Vegas. I'm anxious for the trips but not necessarily for the prep (i.e. laundry, packing, etc.)

One great thing about life these days is that I'm meeting some wonderful people and actually touching base with some "long-lost folks" from my life history (Hi Jenny in TX!)

You may remember we recently brought two puppies home; Izzie and Bailey. Izzie is growing a bit each day and is a warm, wonderful pet. Bailey, well-loved, and now greatly missed, now belongs to my daughter, Elisa, and her husband, Rob. One puppy is much easier for us to take care of and we now have a more personal relationship with Izzie than we would have had we kept both dogs. Bailey is growing by leaps and bounds and promises to be quite a big girl by the time Christmas rolls around! They were both about 5 lbs. when we brought them home and now, nearing the 4-month old mark, Izzie is 22 lbs. and Bailey is, well, more than that.

This time of year is a tough one for me. You see, I have a love/hate relationship with spring. Spring is beautiful, smells nice, can be invigorating and people seem to smile more. But, on the other hand, spring is equal to being on the top of the slide...and down...right...into...summer. I HATE the heat. July and August are miserable. September at least brings the promise of autumn. So you see...I live happily for October through April. May through September I'm just not a very nice person to be around. I understand the thermometer will reach 80+ on Thursday! So you see, it's starting already.

Seriously, though, I hope you take the time to enjoy the beauty of spring.

Dirty Coffee Cups

I felt bad for a moment as I realized we were leaving her with dirty coffee cups to clean. It seemed unfair; she showed such care for the women in her Bible study. Mentoring and serving (and I don't mean just coffee!) She routinely opens her home and her heart in her (and our) quest for a closer walk with our Lord Jesus.

The clock brought us back to the reality of children to be picked up, jobs to get to, appointments to keep. I hated to leave those cups but there really was no choice.

Then something occurred to me... She was exactly the type of woman who would appreciate those dirty cups. Not for the brown circles in the bottom or the lipstick marks on the side. But for the women who had used them. She would be thankful for the laughter, the shared stories, the revelations, and the very presence of Jesus with us in that very room. A group of women sharing a part of this journey called "the Christian life."

No, on second thought, I no longer feel bad about those dirty cups, but I do pray that God continues to bless this woman and her heart for Jesus.

I Came Back...

Hello!
Wow, it's been awhile since I've written. No earth-shattering news; just the same old tired excuse everyone else has..."I've been busy."

I love this blog. I worry sometimes about what I write here. I don't want to whine too much. Don't want to sound like a know-it-all. Don't want to be preachy or too moody. I also know that I've done each of those things (and more) from time-to-time. Thanks for sticking around and traveling this winding road with me.

This week's bullets...

• Saw oldest son today. He had car trouble and we met him to see about that and then went out to dinner. His Easter break starts at the end of the week. Hoping to see Shan and Matthew Tuesday and again on Friday.
• I'm having a great time with my Mary Kay business. Utilizing parts of my brain that have been on "hold" for the last 6 years or so. Re-connecting with some long lost friends and meeting new folks along the way. Playing with great products and having fun.
• Bible Study is great despite the fact I missed class tonight and will have to make it up Thursday morning!
• Izzie and Bailey are doing well. They went to the vet today for a puppy check-up and shots. Bailey is now larger than Izzie and they're right at 3 months old. They weighed about 5 pounds each when we brought them home. Now they're between 15 -19. They are sweet little girls and have been a wonderful addition to our family. Speaking of family additions...
• (It's not what you think) We believe our black cat, Mischief, is pregnant. Keep us in mind if you're interested in kittens! It just doesn't seem fair that she's the last one to become pregnant but will be the first to have her babies.
• We've become "Wii'd" - Over the weekend we became the owners of a Nintendo Wii system. It came with 5 cool sports games good for the whole family. But wait...there's more... Guitar Hero III and a 2nd guitar "controller." Guitar Hero is truly loved by all of our children. We had to have a "Mario" game and the Olympics one looked like it would be good for both the younger kids to play together. M&M Racing looked fun (and cheap - relatively speaking). We found "Wii Games" which came with a controller so that seemed like a deal. We got one controller I don't even know what it's for. Oh, can't forget the charger. Then Abbey had to have a game. She's a High School Musical fanatic and hey, that one came with a microphone controller for singing along! 'm not sure if that's all or not. I know my husband said there's only one other thing we need...a wee (Wii?) 2nd mortgage!
• Did I mention I really hate video games? I hate the obsession that takes over. I hate the way it alienates kids from other forms of entertainment. I 'try' to balance my personal dislike for them against my kids' love of them. I was totally against a personal gaming system that the kids take everywhere. I like the idea of the more traditional games encouraging some family game time we might not otherwise have. I really hope this was not a disastrous decision. I still have some misgivings.
• Remember "Greta?" The original Greta will be guding another's vehicle now. She's been passed down to our oldest son.
• WE'RE ON FINAL COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTOPHER'S BIRTHDAY...IT'S FRIDAY!
• WE'RE STARTING THE COUNTDOWN TO ELISA'S - IT'S 3 DAYS LATER.
• COUNTING, COUNTING, AND COUNTING. MINE'S 9 DAYS AFTER ELISA'S.

I'm planning on a great week. I hope you are, too!

Focus and Baby Steps...

Slow steps and focus - that's the phrase that comes to mind when I think of all that's going on these days. The following probably contains much more info than you'd care to know. Feel free to scroll down to the end for the wrap-up.

I'm not doing as well at eating in a healthful manner this last week. I think it's a matter of focus. I do best when I have a single major topic to focus on. The only problem with that is that I, and I'm sure you, have many more things to focus on.

I am a child of God. I do best when I am actively working (read: focus) on my personal walk with the Lord. Regular church attendance, Bible study, in-depth teaching and study with the kids, etc. For this reason I'm glad I have a new Bible study beginning tomorrow evening. This class was scheduled to begin a few weeks ago and I had a scheduling conflict. Circumstances caused the class start date to change and now my conflict is resolved and I can attend the class (with many of the same wonderful ladies I've done studies with in the past).

I am also a wife and while it's easy to put one's relationship with their spouse to the side, it is not wise. I don't do well with distance between me and Ken. Constant attention to and awareness of our relationships is key to keeping them nourished, strong, and ever-growing. The more in-tune we are with each other the better we are at going through this crazy thing called "life." I'd love to say that this comes naturally, but it doesn't always. It takes conscious-effort to get back on track from the many side-tracks that grab our time and attention.

I am a mother. I am both mother and teacher to my two youngest children. Our schooling follows everything else; the natural ebbs and flows. Particularly energized at certain times of the year, rather "normal" most of the time, a bit "blah" following the holidays and toward the end of the school year- only to re-energize for the start of the next. This, of course, requires a lot of focus - on the curriculums, the teaching, the 24/7 demands.

I am also a mother...
to a bright and beautiful adult daughter expecting her 2nd child. She has not made life easy on herself. Many of her choices thus far have been detrimental and she both endures and causes much more hurt and pain than seems necessary. Although an adult, she is still my daughter and I cannot stop trying to guide and direct her. She has wonderful business and organizatilnal skills and would be an incredible asset anywhere she chose to go. Reliability is a positive trait and not something to be feared or avoided.

to an adult daughter expecting her 1st child this fall. A capable young woman seeking to prove herself to the world. She hasn't yet realized she's the real thing and doesn't have to be perfect. Perfect, while impossible anyway, would be so incredibly boring! What she looks for from her mom is different than her sister. She and her husband are making their own way in this world. They ask advice occasionally and both seem to have a strong sense of family. We enjoy time spent together.

to a college freshman son. He and his friends quickly realized and actively discussed what they see as the status of college students. They realize they are adults in the eyes of the world but know they "aren't quite there yet" because they are full time students. They aren't self-sufficient and it's an odd, in-between time. Mothering this young man is different from his siblings. We have "weekend visits," discussions on current-events and politics, share ideas on college papers, ask about grades (not nag, mind you), schedules and such. It's difficult on both mother and son for him to have "home" as one address but live on campus. He doesn't realy feel that either place is "his home." An incredibly bright young man who lacks self-confidence.

Grandmother -
This is a fairly new role for me. it has not turned out to be like I expected (then again, what does?). I love my grandson; he's incredible. He lives mostly with his father and that has put a distance in our relationship I don't always know how to handle. It is also difficult to be a grandparent while still parenting ones so young. Let's just say we're playing this one by ear.

Business Woman -
Being a woman in business is one thing. Beginning a business at this point in time is a challenge. It's a challenge I'm looking forward to. I love the products I'm selling and this will provide a wonderful teaching/learning opportunity for my kids. We're a homeschool family with a single income and that puts a lot of stress on Ken. That's why I need for this business to succeed.

Extended family, friends, acquaintances... these all have extraordinary influence and input in our day-to-day lives. We are blessed because of them.

This circle leads back to my opening of Focus and Baby Steps... Focus is a requirement in order to get through each day, each project. Baby steps will be the way to get things done. We can't get life done by trying to tackle huge projects in their huge form. All has to be broken down in manageable pieces.

Am I telling you anything you don't know? Of course not. I'm simply reminding myself!