Living in different states made shopping and lunch dates out of the question. We used to talk a lot more - back in the days when life was uncomplicated. Okay - less complicated. I was in my 20's - not only did life seem complicated but it was agonizingly dramatic as well.
We met when I was 16 and she was 12. Hard to imagine now as we get close to the 30 year mark! I knew her brother first and then got to know her. She was the keeper!
I can't speak for her, but, as for me - the more I have to deal with the less I share with others. Now, with my mom deceased and me being out of the work force and away from people day-in-and-day-out for the last 6 years I've pretty much turned in to a loner. My confidence level has lagged and I'm not even comfortable in most face-to-face conversations with others any more.
In her later years, my mother's social circle consisted mostly of her adult children; she was happy as a homebody and a rather private person. I see the same thing in her offspring. Some situations I do very well socially. Other times I'm just shy and uncomfortable. I'm most comfortable with my husband and kids. My husband is the same. He's never really been comfortable in social situations. These days I meet a lot of homeschool moms but I'm usually a good bit older than they are. They're tackling elementary school for the first time and I'm sending mine off to college, becoming a grandma and now homeschooling my youngest two kids.
We've changed church homes a few times and while there are a lot of great women where we go now - I don't know any of them very well.
So, through the years, marriages, kids, adult kids, grandchildren, stress, depression, etc. I've become almost reclusive. I often want to pick up the phone and talk with my friend, Dawn, but really don't know where to start. I know that's a ridiculous worry, though. We always manage to start about where we left off. It just seems there's so much to relay. I believe she probably feels the same way. It's true, too, that our lives have gone in vastly different directions. While in the work force I held my own and was regarded as a valued employee. Administration was my field. Well, now I'm home (and I don't excel at being a housewife) and she's stayed on the career-track and is doing well. I focused more on the mommy track with 5 kids. She now has a teenage daughter and stepson. So, maybe I'm afraid to discover that what we've had as friends might be different today. I guess to summarize I'd have to say my friendship with her is a priceless treasure I keep tucked away. I always know it's there. I don't want to find it's become outdated over the years.
Most of the time I'm happy with the (social) life we have. It does nag at me from time-to-time that one of these days my husband may be gone and I'll be alone. Or, I may be gone and he'd be alone. I don't really want that for either of us. Occasionally I'll find myself at home while Kenneth is on the road. I get the urge to meet a friend for dinner or coffee - then I realize I really have no one to call.
My last post mentioned I have a lot of things in my life to address or change. This is one of those areas. Friends truly are treasures! For me, between failed relationships, moving to a new state, moving churches, and being involved with our large family - those opportunities didn't come up often. Conversely, we haven't really pursued anything at our end. Our kids are great but they have their own lives now.
So...if you find you need a friend...
I sure hope Christmas is making all things shiny and bright for you and yours!
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